This cheapo British horror is nasty and pretty much scare-free, despite the gallons of gore, writes Cath Clarke

• Cath Clarke
• guardian.co.uk, Thursday 28 October 2010

 

 

A gruesome low-budget Brit horror, in which four skint art students break into a dank abandoned mansion in a swish part of west London (which has miraculously evaded the attention of property developers). The plan is to, like, squat and paint – like artists did way in the past, back in the 80s. But after a few spooky bangs and clanks, they begin to disappear one by one; good riddance too – they're an obnoxious, shrill bunch. A sizeable chunk of the budget looks like it has been spent on lashings of blood, fake appendages, rubbery eyeballs and a gleaming set of surgical apparatus (there's a maniac in the basement wearing scrubs). But for all the gore, Spiderhole wants for genuine frights; it's a kind of Saw for beginners. Still, it might just work as a public service film: kids, squatting is bad – leave those bolt cutters alone.

appendages : akcesoria

bangs and clanks : łomoty, złowieszcze odgłosy

bolt cutters : szczypce do prętów, zasuw

dank : przejmująco wilgotny

evade : uniknąć

gallon : galon (jednostka objętości, równowartość 4,45 litra)

genuine : autentyczny, prawdziwy

good riddance : chwała Bogu, nareszcie!

gore : rozlana krew

gruesome : makabryczny

lashings (of) : mnóstwo, masa

obnoxious : nieznośny, wstrętny

scrubs : fartuch chirurga

shrill : przeraźliwy; piskliwy

skint : bez grosza

spooky : przerażający

swish : szykowny

Saw : Piła (horror z 2004)

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